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Beauty Contest Winner Claws Her Way To Victory

A competitor in the 2003 Miss Crustacean Hermit Crab Beauty Pageant. Photo: William Thomas Cain
A competitor in the 2003 Miss Crustacean Hermit Crab Beauty Pageant. Photo: William Thomas Cain

August 8, 1996 — “This makes no sense, has no redeeming social value and offers no prize money,” said a smiling Mark Soifer, public relations director for Ocean City, New Jersey, when asked on this day to explain the success of the annual Miss Crustacean Hermit Crab Beauty Pageant. He was speaking after the 1996 event was won by Copa Crabana, a hermit crab dressed in gold and blue feathers.

Despite Mr Soifer’s pretended doubts, the pageant has gone from strength to strength, as the contest held in August 2022 shows. The winners displayed a “Retro Pacman” crab, while second place went to the “Crab of Thrones.” Third was a crustacean portraying the “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous Hermit Crabs.”

The pageant is organised by the National Association of Crab Activities at the Beach (NASCRAB). Painting or gluing of objects on crabs is not allowed and contestants are told how to care for the creatures. They are judged “for originality, creativity and personality.”

The winning crab waddles down a flower-bedecked runway while spectators sing “Here It Comes, Miss Crustacean.” She is awarded the coveted Cucumber Rind Cup, which has a cucumber placed inside. (A cucumber can represent a year’s supply of food for a hermit crab).

The pageant is followed by the King of Klutz Hermit Crab Races where “crabathletes” compete on an eight-foot (2.5m) plywood oval. A bugler from the Ocean City Pops Orchestra sounds the call to the starting gate for every heat. A cake dish cover serves as the starting gate. The world record time of 3.6 seconds was set by Hermie many years ago.

The pageant, which officials say encourages responsible hermit crab ownership, has attracted people of all ages, including businesses, since it started in 1973.

Copa Crabana, a sultry showgirl crustacean, was presented to the judges in a cardboard box fashioned as the legendary Copa Cabana nightclub in Havana, and beat off 79 other crabs to claim victory. Past winners include Crabopatra, an exotic Egyptian crab; Crab Salad, Taxi Crab, Crabahontis, Pirates of the Crabibbean . . . and Kim Crabdashian!

The pageant was the brainchild of Mark Soifer who dreamed up other crowd-pulling wacky events such as Weird Week, the Pamper Scamper baby race, Martin Z. Mollusk Day, the King and Queen of Plop, and Mr. Mature America.

He died in June, 2021, aged 89. The local chamber of commerce said he had defined Ocean City as “America’s Greatest Family Resort.” Director Michelle Gillian added: “His signature events make Ocean City what it is, and they have been recognised throughout the nation and the world. I always said we have the beach, the boardwalk, the bay — and Mark Soifer.”

Published: February 8, 2023
Updated: December 29, 2023


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